When two Kim Parry’s get their heads together, the result is sheer genius. Are any of you tired of being fantasy football widows? Do your husbands spend countless hours PRE-SEASON researching/scouting players for their teams? Are you sick of having every football game on your TVs, computers, etc. while you take care of the kids, house, pet, etc.?

If so, then we have found the answer for you! To gain some relief from your husbands obsession (and to find one of your own), join the first ever Fantasy Husband League. The rules and some bios follow, but now is the time to start scouting your “players” and prepare for the upcoming “season”!

FHL Rules:

1. Only single men in the Fall lineup are open for drafting (since married men will throw off scoring—and since we’re not about breaking up happy/not so happy homes).

2. You can only have one Fantasy Husband and one Alternate. In order to bring up your alternate, you must permanently “divorce” your active Fantasy Husband. Once the draft is complete, only Fantasy divorcees are available for drafting/alternates.

Note: Chances of having a successful Fantasy relationship with a Fantasy divorcee decrease dramatically with each divorce. Re-draft at your own discretion

3. You may pay for Fantasy “counseling” sessions that can eliminate some of the negative points earned by your Fantasy Husband throughout the season, up to the limit of 4counseling sessions. After your 4^th session, it is your call whether you stick with your Fantasy Husband throughout the season or if you divorce them and bring up your alternate.

FHL Scoring:

Your fantasy husband will earn or lose points based on the following criteria. Points will be awarded after each episode. All divorces, drafts, and changes in your Fantasy relationship must be completed one full day before the next airing episode (eg. For a show that airs Tuesday night at 7 p.m., drafting/divorcing must be completed before midnight on Sunday).

Brownie Points awarded when your Fantasy Husband:

+3 Shows Integrity (when confronted with an unethical work situation, etc.)

+3 Respectfully Declines PDA with “Another Woman”

+3 Dumps Girlfriend

+2 Defends a Woman’s Honor

+2 Gets a Raise/Promotion/Finishes a Degree

+2 Ups the Hotness Factor

+1 Compliments Women Without Trying to “Score”

+1 Does Household Chores (make bed, do dishes, walk dog, etc.)

+1 Opens the Door for a Woman

+1 Gets Dumped

Deal Breaker Points subtracted when your Fantasy Husband:

-3 Physical “Relations” With Another Woman (kissing on the lips, “the deed,” etc.)

-3 Gets/Has a Girlfriend

-3 Does Drugs/Participates in Illegal Activity

-3 Hits/Abuses a Woman

-2 PDA With Another Woman (holding hands, kissing cheeks (with the exception of mothers and relatives), etc.)

-2 Asks a Woman on a Date

-2 Gets Fired/Loses a Job or Doesn’t Have a Job At All

-2 Changes His Look/Downs the Hotness Factor

-1 Makes a Chauvinist Comment/Insults a Woman

-1 Makes a Mess and Doesn’t Clean Up (including throwing clothes on the floor, etc.)


Here are some bios of our eligible bachelors. Do your research! Drafts start soon. The person with the best Fantasy relationship at the end of the season wins a trophy husband!

Name: Chuck Bartowski

Occupation: Nerd Herd Member

Crush Factors:

· Chuck’s espionage activities tend to up his hotness factor.

· Brilliant—although that’s what leads to some of his red flags.

Red Flags:

· Although there’s not much potential for a committed relationship, he is in love with his partner.

· Due to his espionage activities, there is not much chance of a job change/pay increase in the near future.

Name: Daniel Mead

Occupation: Editor in Chief of Mode Magazine

Crush Factors:

· Gaining some respect for women

· As a womanizer, there is little chance of him getting a permanent girlfriend.

Red Flags:

· Tends to rack up negative PDA points.

· Has been a drug addict in previous seasons.

• With Wilhelmina and Alexis in the picture, Daniel could lose his job

Name: Dr. Gregory House

Occupation: Doctor

Crush Factors:

· Doesn’t have many relationships/dates.

· Has very little PDA

Red Flags:

· Tends to be sarcastic/rude to people (could rack up negative insult points)

· Boss threatens to fire him in almost every episode—could find himself in the middle of a huge malpractice suit, due to the nature of his job.

· Tends to break-and-enter to retrieve information on patience (could rack up negative illegal activity points).

· Was addicted to pain killers at one point.

Name: Jim Halpert

Occupation: Paper Salesman

Crush Factors:

· Some hotness potential

· Respectful toward women (although this is now mostly directed toward his girlfriend, Pam—see Red Flag below).

Red Flags:

· Currently has a girlfriend (could rack up negative PDA points).

• Has already passed up opportunities for promotion—job is fairly dead-end at this point

Name: Michael Scofield

Occupation: America’s Most Wanted/Con on the Run

Crush Factors:

· Potential for SERIOUS hotness points

· Because he’s on the run, doesn’t have much time for dating.

Red Flags:

· His life is currently based on illegal activity.

· He doesn’t have much time to clean up his messes . . .