Just to Get Josh's Goat . . .

So, Josh hates blog posts that are just writing. He calls those the "boring" ones. Of course, he thinks he's the wittiest/funniest person on the planet, so all of HIS posts are brilliant. For all those who wondered why I fell off the face of the blogging earth . . . this is why. I am horribly self-conscious. Always have been. Thought I kicked it when I met Josh--I actually had a pretty healthy self-esteem then. But there's something about pregnancy and mood issues and body changes that just puts me in the black abyss category called, "I'm giving up . . . for now anyway."

So after blog stalking again (I feel ridiculous that my HUSBAND gives me the updates on my friends blogs), here are just some of the reasons why I feel off the face of the earth for awhile--my friends are freaking intimidating. Of course, that makes me feel cool by association. However, you may notice a lack of pictures of ME on our family blog. Also, I try not to talk about ME. Why? Here are just a few things that make me self-conscious:

1. Friends who (1) have houses (with yards) and (2) can turn their houses into better than Martha Stewart photo quality show cases on a budget (I think you know who you are--Cali lovin).

2. Friends who, even though I taught them at BYU, have freaking amazing writing/blogging skills and who, I hope, will someday come out with some novels.

3. Friends who (1) are smaller than me their whole pregnancy and (2) look freaking amazing in their HOSPITAL pics post birth. There's just something wrong about that.

4. Friends who have more creative talent in one pinkie than I have ever hoped of having. You know--the ones who make adorable monsters and high quality coupons--you know who you are :).

5. Friends who update their blogs regularly, are super moms with immaculately clean homes, and who don't whine routinely when pregnant.

6. Friends who use words like "dissertation," "hegemony," and "PhD." Oh--and who still punctuate and spell posts correctly.

7. Truly brilliant people. I'm smart enough to fake it, but smart enough to know that I'm largely a fraud. I KNOW truly brilliant people. I bask in their brilliance from my "smart" hill far away. :)

So yes--I'm in my black abyss called, "I give up . . . for now." I accept the fact that I am doing a mediocre job at filling my callings, a less than mediocre job staying up on house work, and a really lousy job at looking at all presentable (no make up, sweats, pony tail--that's how I roll these days. If I'm showered, it's a good day). My parenting skills involve cuddling in a recliner and watching kid shows and saying, "Mommy can't give you a piggy back ride, honey. Mommy's ________ (fill in with back, stomach, ligament, head, etc.) hurts."

Sigh. So thank you amazing people for being my friends! :) I will live vicariously by blog stalking your amazing lives and be quite content with trying to make it through these last two months of pregnancy.